Diamond Daydreams
by Second2dead
Summary: One shot stories...some serious and some tarded...but they're all so sweet...and a little creepy.
1. Sasuke, wtf are you doing?

**Diamond Daydreams**

**Story one: Sasuke…wtf are you doing?**

A/N: Yay my first ever short stories drabble thing. Excuse any errors. If you have any ideas then please tell me!

Warnings: hint of Sasunaru, Sasuke bitching, and a cross gender Naruto.

Disclaimer: All I own is my vagina…and some mangas…yeah

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Sasuke was mad! As a matter of fact he was pissed! How dare his team have a tea party and not invite him! Well it's not like he would have gone but still it would have been nice that they could have at least asked how he felt on the subject. Not that he would tell them the truth; instead he would just answer with "Hn" or "Get out of my face." He had an avenging and an image to keep up with after all (cough emo cough). He can't let thing like emotions or friendship get in his way. But there are some emotions that nobody can control. Two of which are anger and jealously. Sasuke's way of getting back at them was o go and spy on their little tea party. He found out that Naruto and that pink haired girl (whatever her names was) were having the party at Ino's house. Okay so that blonde bitch was invited but not him! Oh sweet injustice!

Sasuke had jumped from tree to tree till he finally landing on the roof of the Yamanaka's residence and peeked in their living room. The first person he saw was Naruto. Then he looked around the room around the room and saw Sakura, Ino, Ten-Ten, Temari, and Hinata. The scene was a little off because not only was Naruto the only guy but he was blushing like mad as well.

'What the hell is going on here? A clustrafuck?' Sasuke thought as he expertly listened to their conversation with all his emo ninja stealth.

"Aw come on Naruto!" Ten-Ten pleaded.

"Yeah just let us see it" Ino said obviously taunting him.

"I'll buy you whatever you want for diner" Temari said. There's no way she's gonna buy him any thing.

"Fine" Naruto said blushing, he got up. Sasuke raised his eyebrow in thought. What was the blonde going to do expose him self to the girls?

Naruto made some familiar had signs and shouted the words, "Sexy no jutsu!" All the girls 'ooh'ed and 'aw'ed as a puff of smoke appeared around Naruto. Sasuke's jaw dropped as very naked tan girl with long blonde pigtails and big bright electric blue eyes took over the place that Naruto stood. All the girls got up and examined him like a toy.

"Wow you did a good job", Sakura said inspecting Naruto's now soft ample breast, "It's like a girl version of you!" Naruto's was in furious blush was in competition with Sasuke.

Ten-Ten was poking Naruto flat stomach, "I'd kill to have these abs…literately." Sasuke's nose was started to twitch.

"Wow look at that ass!" Temari said slapping Naruto causing him to yelp. Yup this time Naruto one because his blush was starting to catch fire. Sasuke was too busy ogling to notice the warm crimson ooze flowing down his left nostril.

Hinata was too busy and blushing and admiring to even speak. She ran her pale index finger from Naruto's belly button to his lightly haired crotch.

"H-H-Hinata what are you doing!' Naruto said his face flushed in a feminine voice.

Five hours later with everyone was clothed and back to their gender they decided to call the tea party to a close. When they got out of the apartment they saw a gruesome sight.

"Sasuke!" Sakura screamed as she ran up to her (one sided) love. Naruto cringed when he Sasuke. He was laying on the floor with a pool of blood under his head that came from his nostrils. He had the biggest grin on his face, like a five year old who one a candy lottery.

"Fucking Hentai" Naruto said aloud.

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A/N: Yeah….putas 


	2. Love lost, love gained

_Diamond Daydreams_

**Story two: _Love lost is Love gained…somewhere else_**

Warnings: angst, character death, SasuSaku

A/N: Snoogins…

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'If only I could've kept you inside me.'

Sakura lay down on her bathroom floor with her door closed to muffle the cries. She was all cried out and she didn't need to hear Obito crying in the other room. She named it that, after Sasuke's late uncle. It's not like Sasuke had a say in it, seeing as he was dead and all. She couldn't blame Naruto; it wasn't his fault Sasuke lost his mind. Sakura scrunched her eyes up as she felt the unshed tears sting her eyes. But she would cry anymore she was all cried out. Naruto said he was sorry, too many times to count. The towns' people drove him out crying. Sakura felt the tears fall sideways one crossing the bridge of her nose before it hit the tiles.

"Stupid people" Sakura managed to choke out. They'd never understand, but then she cried harder remembering she was one of her. She stopped crying when she realized Obito stopped crying too. She picked herself up off the floor and wiped her eyes as she went in to the kitchen to go check on the baby. She stared down his crib. He had a head full of blue black hair and His obsidian-black eyes stared at her. More like glaring. His pink lips were open and he didn't make a sound. Sakura felt the color drain from her face as she stared at him. He looked just like him. He looked just at her and he didn't make a sound. She walked backward from the crib. She couldn't stand the sight of him anymore.

'If only you were inside me.'

"Sasuke" She whispered. If only he were here. The he could save her. It was only one night. It was her first, and that's all her body needed. She was overjoyed to be the one to help Sasuke restore his clan. But somewhere between conceiving and giving birth something happened to Sasuke. It had always been there. It was a look in his eye that made his black eyes blacker. It was an emotion that hasn't even been invented yet, but it was some where along the lines of hate and yearning. Then after he killed Itachi it just seemed to grow and manifest his entire body and spirit. If only Sakura could have kept him, kept him closer.

'If only you were inside me.'

Sakura cried as she walked backwards whispering some one's name over and over. She jumped when she felt two strong big hands grip her shoulders. Sakura jumped and grabbed her kunai then spun around and thrust in to the stomach of whoever it was who dared disturb her cries for help. She looked up and gasped as she stared in to those familiar blue eyes.

"Naruto." Sakura voice quivered as she whispered his name. She can feel those old tears rise up from within her again. "I'm sorry."

"Its okay" He flashed her sad smile before going to check on Obito. His smile turned into a worried frown. "What's wrong with Obito?"

She shrugged even though he wasn't looking, "I don't know. He just stopped crying and he kept staring."

Naruto pick the baby up with utter gentleness and began to pick him on the back. Sakura watched as if in some kind of secret trance. "I want you to keep him." Sakura couldn't stand that baby. Not with looking like who he did.

Naruto laughed as he danced around with the baby who was burping and giggling, "I think you should go over to Ino's house for a couple of days."

"I'm serious. You should keep him." Sakura was feeling a bit better now. "After all you love him more then I ever could."

Naruto stopped dancing at Sakura's double meaning. Obito seemed made about that and began to pull Naruto's gold locks. Naruto walked up to Sakura and kissed her on the forehead. "You'll be fine. You're a strong woman. You always were."

Sakura smiled as Naruto dance with the baby in to the kitchen. He didn't deny what she said. "I'm gonna make some ramen and cheerios. Not together of course…Do you want anything?"

She shook her head, "No, I'm all right."

'If only I had a little bit of you in me. Then I could be stronger.'

You Naruto were always the strong one.

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A/N: So much angst…I got to stop reading _riding in cars with boys_ but it's so good. 


	3. Tomorrow's sun

A/N: No real pairings just plain own poetry. I see this poem as Naruto's POV. It's llike he's speaking to a certian raven haired bastard

_**Tomorrow's Sun**_

I'll love you today.

But tomorrow I'll forget.

You shouldn't worry.

It's what we do right now that matters…I think.

People run off far away into the distance.

I wonder if they ever look back.

All alone I stand in the background.

Watching there mistakes.

They consider me the freak but that's understandable because can only see the sun glaring in front of them.

I don't need someone's copy.

I'll make my own.

A/N: Mostly people don't get my poems so I'll accept people's flames...I can use them to cook dinner XD


	4. Teacup

A/N: I really like this poem. Please review and let me know if you like it too. I wrote it after hearing Yoko Kanno's song 'Sora' for the thousandth time. It NaruSasu if you turn squint and think about the words. this is dedicated to all those who have read and reviewed _Itai?_ Love you XD

**_Teacup_**

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Spring time. 

Hello Sasuke.

And dying things.

We must follow you.

Roses bloom.

They die again.

We most follow.

Heart's break.

They heal again.

We must follow.

Tea cup.

That goes unused.

We must follow.

Things said.

Cannot return.

We must follow.

Your footsteps.

Echo in my heart.

We must follow.

Things lost.

Can be found again.

We must follow.

_Please_ follow.

Winter.

Hello Sasuke.

And dying things….

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Thanks for reading...Snoogans 


	5. COPS

_**Diamond Daydreams **_

A/n: Itai will be coming up soon I just have to do some crap. I had this idea stuck in my head. I got this idea from watching COPS. Hehehehe :laughs till I died:

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**Chapter 5 COPS Uncensored **

Narrator: On this episode of COPS we see Officer Uzumaki and Officer Sai Patrol the streets in their cop cars.

Uzumaki: …Yeah it may not be the most respected job in the world but it's still a good one and at the end of the day I can call myself a man.

Sai: (laughs) Are you sure about that?

Uzumaki: (sneers) Shut the fuck up.

Radio: (staic)We got a disturbance call from the West Farms area. It seems that someone has reported a crazed woman creeping about a man's house.

Uzumaki: (smiles) We're on it.

Sai: (mumbles) I wish you were on me.

Uzumaki: (blushes) What the hell Sai! They got this shit on TV!

Sai: (smiles) I'm sure they'll cut that part out Naruto.

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Narrator: They arrive at the scene where they see a girl with short pink hair roam around the victims' house.

Sai: Alright you go talk to the victim I'm going to talk to the suspect .

Uzumaki: (grins) Right.

Uzumaki: (knocks on the house door. Then he is greeted by a man with black hair and black eyes.) Are you Sasuke Uchiha?

Sasuke: Yes, I called because there's this woman that's been following me for over a month now. I didn't pay much attention to it. But now it's getting real annoying and I just want this crazy bitch off my property.

Uzumaki: (looks confused) How come you didn't call sooner if you say she's been following for a month already?

Sasuke: (huffs) What are you retarded? I just told you that I didn't really care but then she started taking my shit.

Uzumaki: I'm going have to ask you to calm down unless you want to get arrested to.

Sasuke: Whatever.

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Narrator: Officer Uzumaki and Sasuke hear a commotion going on by the house of the house and Uzumaki goes to investigate. There he sees Officer Sai trying to calm the suspect down.

Sai: Please calm down and assume the position.

Sakura: (hysterical) But I didn't do anything! I just wanted to give Sasuke-Kun back his special toy.

Uzumaki: His what? (turns to Sasuke)

Sasuke: (goes from shocked to embarrassed) I-I-I don't know what the fuck this bitch is talking about.

Sakura: But Sasuke-Kun I-

Sasuke: Get this crazy bitch off my property!

Sakura: (crying) It wasn't even me! It was Ino! (gasps for breath due to tears)

Sai: Just put you're hands behind your back.

Sakura: (cries harder) thatstupidbitchsh (gasps for air) etoldmethiswasSasukekunsdildo (gasps for air) andIcouldgetpregantoff (gasps again) ofitandallIeavereverwantedwas (takes in a fairly large amount of air) HIM!

Sai: (whispers to Naruto) This bitch is a day late and a dollar short.

* * *

Uzumaki: (whispers to Sai) You got that right.

Sakura: …(flees the scene)

Sai: We got a runner (starts to follow her) Get back here you goddamn crazy bitch!

Uzumaki: (yells after Sai) I'll take the car! (turns to Sasuke) I'll be back with the papers.

Narrator: In the car Uzumaki radios in to his fellow officers.

Uzumaki: We got a White female running west bound. She has pink hair and green eyes about 5 foot six. (Sniggers). Suspect appears to be a devoted stalker.

Hyuga: (almost breathless) Yeah I am here with Sai. He has the suspect in cuffs. We're right here on Kohona Avenue and I don't have the car with me.

Uzumaki: I'll be right over. (talks to camera) It really feels great when we get these freaks off the street.

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Narrator: When Uzumaki gets to the scene he isn't so surprised to find that the woman is still hysterical.

Sakura: (still crying.) My parents are gonna be soooo mad at meee!

Sai: Next time you should think about that before you decided to follow people.( slams car door in her face.

Uzumaki: Neji what happen to your face.

Hyuga: (touches bruise spot and blushes) I-It's nothing. I was just assaulted by the suspect.

Sai: (laughs) she assaulted him with this (holds up a red dildo)

Uzumaki: (shocked) no way.

Hyuga: (blushes) be quite Sai!

Uzumaki: (laughs) let's just take her back to the precinct.

Hyuga: Sai I think you should drive her back to the victim's house while I and Uzumaki take the suspect back to the precinct.

Sai: Fine, I'll catch you guys later at the bar.

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Narrator: Driving back Officer Uzumaki and officer Hyuga are annoyed by Sakura's crying.

Hyuga: Now would be a good time to take that right of silence.

Uzumaki: A-K-A shut the fuck up back there!

Sakura: Please just let me out I swear I won't do anything.

Hyuga: We would have let you go if it were not for the fact that you assaulted me.

Sakura: But I said 'sorry'!

Uzumaki: Well you'll just have to suck it in and learn your lesson.

Hyuga: It just goes to show you that crime doesn't pay.

Uzumaki: Neji

Hyuga: Yes?

Uzumaki: I'm sure you could've said something a little more original than that to end the show.

Hyuga: (blushes) I'm not exactly an A- class writer.

Uzumaki: Whatever (looks at camera) listen bitches, if you're going to do something wrong make sure you don't get caught. Or else you're going to have to face the greatest cop that ever lived! Naruto Uzumaki!

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A/N: There was about a billion different ways I could have gone with this idea and if I really wanted I could have wrote a hundred fucking pages. Maybe I'll write a part two. Well I got to take a shit so……Oh I almost forgot that if anyone likes this COPS idea they can use it and drop me the link for it so I can read it XD yeah! 


End file.
